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	Ethan Home ... First Year ... Ethan's Birth
	(This is a long story. You can skip it if you like, and just look at pictures of the baby.) Ethan was due August 16th, but I was convinced (optimistically, as it turned out) that he would come early. My mother and sister arrived a week or so ahead of time, and then we all just sat around waiting for him to arrive. Well, not really -- actually we worked like dogs trying to get everything ready. I guess he just wasn't willing to come until his room was all set up. Erika and Mom painted the nursery, and I painted moons and stars on his garage-sale changing table. By a few days after his due date, well-meaning neighbors and friends couldn't seem to stop themselves from saying things like, "Aren't you supposed to be having a baby? Get busy!" And just like all the pregnancy books suggest, it drove me nuts. But on Monday, August 19th, I had a non-stress test at the doctor's office, which indicated that Ethan was just fine in there. This relieved me quite a bit, although I was discouraged that I was still only 2 centimeters dilated. That afternoon, we took a long walk up to Mt. Tabor, and then I decided to build a stone patio in the back yard out of some pieces of concrete we took up. (Of course, Mom and Erika had to do most of the heavy lifting and breaking up the pieces, but I helped fit the puzzle pieces together.) And that night, I went into labor. I'm sure very few women have a labor that's just like the books say. By the time I'd been in labor about 3 hours, my contractions were already extremely painful, about a minute long, and were alternating between 5 minutes and 2 minutes apart. Generally nausea is saved for the last part of labor, but I was nauseated from the outset, and I alternated between feeling hot and cold. We went to the hospital around midnight, and I was still only 2 centimeters dilated. The labor nurse, P.J., suggested I walk around for an hour, and then check again. That walk was very tough -- I was miserable every time a contraction hit. I'd spoken to Becca, our doula, but hadn't yet told her to join us. After an hour, I was still at 2 centimeters. The nurse told me that technically I wasn't actually even in labor, since I had made no progress. My options were to keep walking around, try taking a bath, or get an IV with a sedative and some morphine (!) and hope that I woke up either further along, or not having contractions anymore. I decided to try the bath down the hall. The hospital, Legacy Emmanuel, has very nice labor and delivery rooms. The whirlpool bath in the hallway was a big selling point for me, and indeed I spent quite a bit of time in there. That first stint in the bath was very tough, though, since I didn't have many coping mechanisms for the pain. I guess there's an official term for alternating contractions like I was having -- they're "coupled." The second one in each pair wasn't quite as long or painful as the first, but it was hard because there was very little rest between them. Jeff sat with me, and tried to help, but we didn't really know what to do. After an hour or so, I got out of the bath, and was checked again -- but I was still at 2 centimeters. My cervix had effaced more, so the nurse decided to admit me and let my doctor know I was there. I was incredibly discouraged, and we decided to call Becca to come. Jeff was exhausted, so he conked out on the floor for a while so he'd be fresh for the long haul. P.J. brought in a birth ball, and gave Erika a few suggestions for how to help me with counterpressure. The birth ball was a great thing -- along with the whirlpool and Becca, it really helped. We put it at the foot of the bed so I could lean on the bed while sitting on it. When Becca arrived, things got better pretty quickly. The contractions still hurt like heck, but she really helped me cope with each one so that they didn't seem quite so interminable. Mostly, she offered her hands, and helped me breathe deeply and moan through each one. I guess it just gave me a focus. Jeff was very surprised with how well I was doing when he woke up a few hours later. Becca, Jeff, Mom, and Erika all took turns helping me, by breathing with me through contractions, letting me lean on them standing up, or sitting with me while I took a bath. In the bath, Jeff poured water on my belly with a little tupperware basin we'd brought in case I had to throw up in the car, and that was really nice. (The water on my belly, not throwing up.) Becca suggested I stop drinking water and switch to ice chips, in the hopes that I wouldn't throw up anymore. I still felt nauseated after evey contraction, but didn't throw up again, which was a big relief. After every contraction I had a routine -- first I'd ask for the basin because I felt so sick. Then I'd throw off whatever was on my shoulders -- Erika's sweater, the hospital gown -- because I felt hot. (Soon after I'd ask for it back because I was cold.) And then I'd ask hopefully for an ice chip. This all sounds like it was much easier than it actually was -- believe me, it wasn't easy at all. Early labor (which is up to 3 or 4 centimeters dilation) is supposed to involve mild, easy to manage contractions. You're supposed to be able to talk during them, and feel happy and excited. Despite the fact that I managed to drum up a smile for this picture with Erika, I wasn't feeling remotely happy. Sometime during the night I realized I would want an epidural, although I would have preferred to be able to get through without it. But if the contractions in the first part of labor were this painful, when they were supposed to be "mild and manageable," I knew I wouldn't enjoy transition, which is the hardest part. In any case, I wanted to make sure I waited long enough so that it wouldn't slow things down or make further interventions necessary. Around 5:30 a.m., the nurse checked my cervix again, and I was almost 3 centimeters dilated. Again, I was incredibly discouraged -- I'd been sure that with all those hours of contractions that I would have made more progress. But I was 100% effaced at that point, and Becca tried to encourage me by pointing out that before I could have the baby, my cervix needed to be 100% effaced, and it was. At 6, P.J. went off shift, and Molly came on as labor nurse. Molly was really, really great. Legacy Emmanuel has a good policy about fetal monitoring, at least for low-risk births: it's only intermittent. And after the first few times I was checked, when I had both the fetal heart rate monitor and the contraction monitor strapped to my belly while I lay on the bed, the nurse would just hold the heart rate monitor up to my belly, so I could stay on the birth ball. I was glad, because contractions I went through while lying on the bed were much, much worse. I spent more time in the bath, with Jeff supporting me. By this time I was so exhausted that I would actually doze off for a few minutes between contractions, but then I always had to sit up in the bath when the contraction came, because I got hot. And then the usual routine -- basin, ice chips, hot, cold. While I was in the bath, at around 9:30 or 10, Molly came to let us know Dr. Ribbink had arrived, and would check me, and possibly break my water to speed things up. So I got out of the bath and stumbled down the hall once again. By then I was about 4 centimeters dilated -- some progress, at least, after 12 hours or so of labor. Dr. Ribbink broke my waters -- an extremely quick and painless thing: one minute she was checking my cervix, and the next minute she'd stuck a long hook up there and a bunch of liquid came gushing out. We'd left the water in the tub, so after Dr. Ribbink left I headed goopily back down the hall. Now with every contraction, I gushed. I sat in the tub for a while longer, with Jeff pouring warm water on my belly, but I was just about at the end of my rope. Finally I decided I couldn't take any more, and wanted the epidural. So we walked back down the hall -- how did I end up in the labor room furthest away from the bath? -- with one very messy contraction on the way. (I apologized to Molly for the goop on the hallway floor, but she just said, "Hey, we've seen it all before." I suppose that's true.) We got back to the room, and they called the anaesthesiologist and got an IV going. That was the hardest part, because I had to lie on the bed from then on, and it was a little while before the guy came. I'd waited until I absolutely couldn't stand the pain anymore, but then of course I had to stand it for a good half an hour longer or more. Actually, Dr. Graham came pretty quickly, but it was still miserable. By this time it was around noon on Tuesday. Getting the epidural was its own kind of adventure -- for part of it, about 10 minutes -- I had to stay absolutely still, which is not that easy during a contraction. Jeff stood in front of me so I could sit up and curve my back and lean into him for the part when I had to be still. Unfortunately, partway through the process, Jeff started whispering, "I'm so hot... I think I'm going to pass out..." (I guess he'd locked his knees in order to help me stay still, and probably he was also thinking about what the anaesthesiologist was doing.) I whispered back, "Don't move," rather urgently. He managed to wait it out, and as soon as Dr. Graham said he was done, the nurse and Becca helped Jeff navigate to the wall, where he slid down and put his head between his knees. Phew! After that, I was way, way happier. My legs started feeling warm, each contraction was less painful, and finally I couldn't feel pain at all. Shortly after I got it, I started shaking, which Dr. Graham told me was a common side effect, and wouldn't go away. But it did go away, thankfully. I could still usually tell when I was having a contraction, which seemed ideal. Hooray, epidural. I'd expected I might sleep, since I was so exhausted after being awake for a day and a night, but I was just so happy not to be in pain that I didn't want to sleep. So we put on some music -- Steve Sano's slack key guitar CD, which Ann and Zack had just given to me on Sunday night, and then selections from the Portland Taiko CD. It also gave me a chance to just talk to everyone, which was nice. Erika gave me a footrub, which I could even feel, thanks to Dr. Graham's well-balanced work. From this point on I did have the fetal heart rate monitor strapped to me, and the baby's heart rate continued to be strong, going up just slightly with each contraction. The next time they checked my cervix I was 6 cm dilated -- so things hadn't slowed down. I started to feel "pressure" -- a very apt term. It did feel remarkably like I needed to poop, only bigger. The contractions got steadily goopier as all the amniotic fluid was pushed out ahead of the baby's head. At a little after 1:00, Becca talked to me about pushing, how it was likely to be, and what I should do. Molly said it was fine to do a practice push, so we did -- Jeff took my right leg, and Becca my left, and I pushed. They seemed to think I did fine. By now I could really feel each contraction (but painlessly), because the pressure increased. Molly said I could go ahead and push for real, so with each contraction, I pushed down. I'd read that it was good to do "natural" pushes, rather than straining really hard, so I aimed to keep my face and upper body relaxed while I pushed. Jeff counted to ten for me, and Erika took over on my left leg. It helped also for me to hold onto my own legs so I could curl up more -- I think being flexible paid off too! I tried one contraction using a towel looped over the squat bar of the bed, but that didn't work as well for me, so I went back to holding my legs. Molly and Becca both said I was pushing extremely efficiently, and that they could see the head. Molly set up a mirror so I could see, but since I didn't have my contacts in I couldn't see much anyway. The baby's heart rate dipped with each contraction, which meant that his head was getting squished as it moved into the birth canal. Molly called for Dr. Ribbink to come, and people started wheeling in equipment -- like a bassinet, and a heater -- that meant a baby was expected soon! But then I was pushing so well that Molly got worried the baby would arrive before Dr. Ribbink, so she called for another doctor to stand in, just in case. As it happened, Dr. Ribbink did get there in time for the last few pushes. By this time the pressure was immense, even between contractions. Dr. Ribbink put mineral oil on my perineum, and stretched it to try to prevent tearing. Then they said I could go ahead and push between contractions if I could keep it up. I was relieved to be able to, because I could feel the baby's head right there, and although it wasn't painful, it wasn't exactly comfortable, either. It burned as his head crowned, but it was bearable. (I did grunt and groan enough to give myself a sore throat later, though.) And then the real contraction hit, so I kept pushing... and out came his head! All at once -- not even another contraction later -- the rest of him slid out and they put him on my chest, all slippery and warm and crying. Dr. Ribbink said, "He's gorgeous! A perfect 10 if I ever saw one! Look how pink he is." He was wiggling and yelling, and everyone was laughing and exclaiming what a great delivery it had been. I couldn't believe it. I'd actually pushed out my baby and he was there on my stomach, all wet with a full head of dark hair. Jeff was laughing, and we kissed several times. Jeff cut the cord while I just stared at our child. Then the placenta came out -- just a few gentle pushes and it slipped out. I sat up to look at it as Dr. Ribbink examined it -- she said it had an eccentric cord insertion, whatever that means. My perineum had torn slightly, so she stitched it up, after numbing the area. Then they took Ethan off of me to weigh him and wrap him up, then put him back on my chest. He was rooting around, and they said I could breastfeed him. I fairly easily got him to latch on, and it was an amazing feeling. He sucked for almost 30 minutes... what a good boy. Dad arrived during this time, just half an hour after the birth. While we were still in the labor and delivery room, Ethan got a bath, with Jeff assisting. I was euphoric, and still somewhat baffled that we'd managed to grow this baby, and then I birthed him. During the pregnancy, I'd been worried about all kinds of things that could be wrong with him -- I suppose that's normal, especially with all the tests that are routine. I was especially worried he might have Down syndrome, because of my abnormal maternal serum screen, but in the end he was very healthy, and did wonderfully during labor. I feel so lucky that overall I had such a great pregnancy, and even though labor was insanely painful, in the end it worked out just right -- that I could cope as long as I did without any medication, and then that it went so quickly and so well once I had some. Since I wasn't in pain at the end, I could really enjoy the birth -- and I did -- and be completely present for it. And I couldn't have asked for a better support team than Jeff, my sister, my mother, and Becca. ~ the end ~ Pictures Slide show Erika and Karen during labor Ethan's first picture Mom and Dad are happy Slippery baby Still kinda purple Jeff cuts the cord Karen and baby shortly after birth Close-up of Ethan With Grandmom Nekked Ethan Ethan being weighed Weight in pounds Ethan and Daddy Ethan and Daddy again First meal Three generations First bath Wet Ethan Still wet Recovering from the bath Mom and burrito baby Ethan's face Close up Who are you? Cute Ethan Ethan with Granddad Sleeping with mom Ethan's feet Karen changing Ethan Leafy cap Kiss Ready to go home Ethan in the car seat Karen and Ethan Karen and Ethan again Ethan at home with the cats Movies Ethan having a drink Warming up after his bath Hungry mouth "I've had worse" Little burrito baby Ethan's thumb Making unhappy noises