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October 24, 2006

Retrospective

So I'm doing this training to be a peer counselor for the Nursing Mothers Counsel of Oregon. It's pretty exciting, and there are many cool women in the training and in the group. I'm a little nervous about answering live phone calls, but hopefully it will get more comfortable.

It definitely makes me think about my experience with Linna more, though. I mean, I know how lucky we were with her, that she was fine, that she could nurse, and all that. But I can't help but look back and wish I had known more about nursing a preemie. I'm not sure why I didn't ask for a book about while I was on bedrest, so I could have been better prepared.

Part of the training involved getting a copy of LLL's "The Breastfeeding Answer Book," which is quite the breastfeeding bible. There's a whole chapter on premature babies, and I learned something new: that studies have shown that breastfeeding is less physically stressful to babies than bottlefeeding, which is basically the opposite of what they told me in the NICU. The procedure was always to try nursing first, then when she pooped out, fill a bottle with the missing amount of breastmilk, and try that until she pooped out. Then do the rest by gavage. I remember that several times I chose to skip the bottle part and go straight to gavage, partly because I was tired myself, and partly because I wanted her to be as well-rested as possible for the next nursing session. So I guess that was the right approach, which is nice to know.

The training is held in a conference room at Legacy Emanuel, so Linna and I were there most of the day Saturday. During lunch we went up to the NICU and got her picture taken for their little "Look who's come to visit" project. It was a little weird to go back in through that door, even though of course I couldn't go all the way in. But I remember it so clearly - the handwashing, the beeping, all of that. Even though we were there such a short time, and she did very well, it was still a hard time.

Posted by ktingey at 07:05 PM | Comments (6)

October 11, 2006

Hard night

Last night was not a good one. Linna got some shots yesterday, and she was a little hotbox all night, and constantly wanted to nurse. Just as Jeff took her away to rock her to sleep and give me a break, Ethan woke up screaming with a bloody nose. (That happens to him sometimes when it's dry, as it is now... used to happen to me all the time too.) He drifted back to sleep pretty fast when I held him in my arms and rocked him... good workout for my stomach, as I wasn't leaning on anything. And he's a heavy boy.

Yesterday evening there was a fundraising night for the preschool at Papa's Pizza. We went, a little late, all set to buy some pizza and play in the play area with the other kids. Ethan promptly threw up on the floor. Tossed his cookie, as it were - an Oreo he'd had earlier. We couldn't be sure if he was actually sick, or if it was just a fluke, so we left right away. The Bowmans kindly gave us a few pieces of pizza, which we ate in the car. Poor Ethan was pretty disappointed, to go there and see all his Harmony friends playing, and then just have to leave. But he really handled it pretty well. And then he turned out not to be sick at all, so we could have stayed... but it would have been irresponsible to stay without being sure, so I guess we did the right thing.

Anyway, we're all a little sleepy today... we didn't get up until 8:20, which isn't good considering we need to leave by around 8:35 to make it to preschool. Still, we were pretty close.

Posted by ktingey at 07:18 PM | Comments (7)

October 10, 2006

Note to self

Today for lunch we grilled orange roughy, and behold it was very good. I made a sauce of purple tomatillos (Ethan and I picked them all over the weekend), two teeny slices of jalapeno (no seeds), garlic, and lime juice. Beautifully greeny-purple, but spicier than I intended. Still, the fish was really good.

On Saturday night we grilled lamb chops, and I made a sauce of... what? Mint, green onion, sugar, lemon juice, orange juice. A little vinegar? I cooked it a little to thicken it. Oh yes, that one had a pepper too -- one of the wee ones Ethan likes so much. Just one. It was very spicy too.

Last weekend I did something slightly bizarre with chicken. Inspired by one of the recipes in Sunset this month, I made a sauce of spinach, onion, pears, garlic... can't remember what else. A splash of pear cider, and some sugar. I intended to stuff the chicken breasts with that and some blue cheese, but they proved uncooperative, so we just had it as a sauce. I browned the chicken, and then splashed some pear cider in there as well. Why not?

Posted by ktingey at 12:01 AM | Comments (8)

October 09, 2006

Why do I have to be the mom all the time?

Sometimes it's hard. Lately - maybe since preschool started? - Ethan just wants nothing but to be with me. Mostly he wants to stay home and play games. Friday he didn't want to go to preschool, but I got him to go by saying I'd pick him up, too. So I both drove him and picked him up, and then after lunch we played backgammon while Mya got Linna to sleep. So we got some time. Then Saturday I decided to just spend almost the whole day just with him. Most of the day we played board games. Then Ethan was supposed to go to Home Depot with Jeff so I could garden, but he decided to garden with me instead. That was fine, fun in fact. Linna was unusually fussy and refusing to sleep, which made the evening difficult, but we finished nicely with a 'campfire' outside. Then bedtime - Ethan was difficult again.

Sunday he also wanted to play all day with me and only me. I needed to go buy groceries, so after lunch I was trying to hurry him through Acquire, and he resisted with all his might. He dawdles on his turn, makes the pieces fly up in the air, starts to cry and scream when I do something not quite the way he wants. Finally I had to just stop and tell him it wasn't fun anymore, which didn't go over very well, let me tell you. I was frustrated, he was frustrated, and Jeff was frustrated trying to distract him. I was in the bedroom trying to get Linna to sleep (ugh! impossible), and I heard Ethan crying again about something. Taking off his shoes.

At that point I decided I needed to just offer some love and stop fighting him. So I asked him to nap with me, and we had nana in the bed. Read a few chapters of our current book, the third Boxcar Children. He calmed down.

But still, I worry. (That's my job.) I worry that he isn't getting enough attention and time. I worry that I don't have enough energy to give him any more. He will probably be scarred for life.

Posted by ktingey at 06:25 PM | Comments (7)